When I first became pregnant, I never intended to return to work. I always thought I would stay at home. Spending my days cooking, cleaning, school runs and in general, being the perfect housewife and mother. Let me tell you, it isn’t like ‘The Waltons’!
To cut a long story short, I was lucky (I see it that way) to be offered a very flexible work from home position 5mths into my maternity leave, which meant I wasn’t losing time with Munch. I could do the hours whilst she napped and I didn’t have to pay out for child care, so it seemed a no brainer.
My foresight perhaps wasn’t the best though. As routines changed, naps were dropped and Munch demanded more time. It no longer became possible to juggle work at home and slowly we started to put her into nursery, 1 day a week, 3 days a week, 4 days and then eventually 5 days. Which in hindsight was quite a nice introduction to nursery life and I feel lucky that we had this staggered opportunity.
I’m not going to sit here and preach that I work because we can’t afford for me not to. In whole that isn’t true. Yes we could have ‘survived’. However I wanted more than just surviving.
As a child I always enjoyed any day trips and holidays we did have and in turn I wanted to do this in spades with my little family. We all know how much a trip to the cinema costs these days (I sound old!)
I won’t lie, the guilt was there. It was a heart wrenching decision to make. I would fret, weighing up the options. My worst fear by far is it having any affect on my relationship with Munch. But after much deliberation over the last 2 years (almost), I realised that (for me) it wasn’t so much the quantity of being there 24/7 that counted, but the quality when I am there. After all, my dad worked more than full time when I was little, as he was and still is self-employed and I just adore him. Is it the right decision? Who knows? I can only go on my life experience and what seems logical.
So, I hope that in years to come, we as a family do benefit and my fear will not come true.